


today, we could do something that we've never done before

by caimani



Category: Jonas Brothers, Waterparks (Band)
Genre: Ballet, Fluff, High School, M/M, Skateboarding, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:08:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28370631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caimani/pseuds/caimani
Summary: Awsten is a skater. Joe does ballet. Two boys from different worlds, right? But things are never simple or obvious, because they’re complicated teenagers in high school and communication is difficult.
Relationships: Joe Jonas/Awsten Knight
Kudos: 4





	today, we could do something that we've never done before

**Author's Note:**

  * For [keithundead](https://archiveofourown.org/users/keithundead/gifts).



If you asked Joe, it all begins when his dance instructor announces that she’s merging their school with a larger dance academy across the city. There won’t be much impact on her existing students, except for the fact that they’ll have to be driving to a different location for their classes. But the instruction will be the same, the hours will mostly be the same, and Madame Angie assures them all that she’ll still be their instructor. 

Joe still gets anxious about it, same as everyone else at Millennium Ballet. Angie’s classes are small but close-knit. The Riverside School of Dance, the academy that Angie is bringing them into, is prestigious. It’s got a reputation, and the dancers there are intense. Joe is worried that they’re going to look bad in comparison. A bunch of big fishes from a small pond dumped into the ocean.

But thankfully the move isn’t as bad as he was anticipating. Within a week, he figures out the best route for the commute. He meets some interesting new people at the academy, and one of them even goes to the same high school as Joe and Nick: a girl in the modern dance class named Demi. While the location is new, the faces are familiar, and Madame Angie puts them through the same exercises and routines and practices as before.

But this is still where it all begins.

Because, halfway between the dance academy and Joe’s high school, there is a community park that includes a large area for skaters. Joe notices it on the drive to the academy one afternoon. A throng of young boys on skateboards are crossing the road together, and traffic momentarily halts to let them pass. Joe can’t make out much of the park from the road, but it looks busy.

He obviously notices the park almost every time he drives to and from dance class, but it never lingers in his mind.

Not until three weeks after the change, when the weather is sunny and warm enough that Joe and Demi and Demi’s friend Selena decide to take their lunch outside. There are crowds of teenagers all over, and all the tables, benches, and optimal spots of grassy lawn seem to have been taken up. Joe is about to suggest that he and Demi go back inside, but a noise catches his attention.

There’s a group of five guys at the edge of the parking lot, four of them on skateboards. As Joe looks, one of them— a guy with dyed blonde tips and a Green Day hoodie— makes his board jump up and slide along the railing of a ramp outside the gym. Joe freezes, his eyes wide. He watches the guy glide on the rail almost effortlessly until he drops back onto the ground, miraculously still on his skateboard.

“There’s a bench over there,” Demi says.

“Huh?” Joe says.

But Selena and Demi are both already on their way to the bench: a single bench just a stone’s throw away from the skateboarders. One guy is sitting on the end of it already, eating a school lunch off a styrofoam tray. He glances at them as they approach, but he doesn’t look like he’s going to tell them to go away. He mostly just looks tired. Joe glances from him to the guy who just did that trick on the rail. They look really similar. 

“Hey,” the guy on the bench says.

“Hey… Kyle, right?” Selena says. “I’m Selena, we have History together.”

The guy— Kyle— nods slowly and blinks once. He then directs his attention back to his lunch without another word. Okay.

Joe sets his backpack and dance bag down on the ground and starts on his lunch. The four guys skateboarding around the parking lot don’t notice them, but that’s probably because one of them nearly falls off his skateboard and the Green Day hoodie guy jumps out to catch him and they all laugh. Joe catches the name Travis, but he’s not sure which one’s name it is.

Selena and Demi start a conversation about the group project they just finished in English class, and Joe listens in on that while he eats. He’s nearly done when he hears someone say, “Kyle, you rude and inconsiderate bitch, when are you going to introduce me to your new friends?”

Joe looks up, confused. The Green Day guy is back, one foot on his skateboard and the other on the ground. He’s looking directly down at Joe. The other three skaters are hovering around behind him. Joe can’t quite take his gaze off Green Day guy. He’s really… cute. 

“I don’t know who any of these people are,” Kyle says. 

Selena gasps at him. “I just said we have History together! And Awsten, shut up, I’m in Physics with you.”

Awsten looks at Selena. “Oh yeah. Yeah, sorry, I’m just giving Kyle a hard time. I don’t know you guys though,” he looks back at Joe and Demi. “Hi. I’m Awsten Knight. That robot you’re sitting with is my less cool twin. If one of us turns out to be an evil clone, it’s him.”

“Nice to meet you, I’m Joe Jonas,” Joe introduces. 

“Demi Lovato,” Demi says. “Cool tricks you were doing just now.”

“Thanks,” Awsten says with a smile. Joe goes tense and, a moment later, he hopes he’s not making a dumb face. Nick usually tells him he’s making a dumb face when he sees cute people. Fuck, he should say something.

“You’ve, uh, got good balance,” he says lamely. Awsten’s smile twists, but he looks more amused than anything.

Kyle peers back over at them. “Jonas… Are you related to Nick?” he asks Joe.

“Yeah,” Joe says, a little surprised. “He’s my brother.”

Kyle nods slowly again. Then he gets up and walks away. Okay.

Awsten’s skater friends introduce themselves too— Geoff, Otto, and Travis. They all seem friendly enough. Joe’s never really talked with skateboarders before. It seems like a dangerous sport, where you’re just asking to fall badly and break something. Dancing seems so much more controlled in comparison. Yeah, falls and sprains and scrapes happen, but at least you’re not doing a flip on a tiny board with wheels in the middle of the air, with nothing but concrete or asphalt below you. 

“What’s that? You dance?” Awsten says suddenly, looking down near Joe’s feet. Joe looks down too, and sees how the patch on his backpack is showing. Millennium Ballet. 

“Yeah,” Joe says cautiously. “Ballet.” 

“That’s cool,” Geoff says. “Isn’t it really hard?”

“Yeah,” Joe says. “But it’s fun. I’ve been doing it for years.”

“That’s crazy. Ballet. Do you, like, lift up the girl ballerinas?” Otto says. He kicks his skateboard closer and then sits down on it. He gives off the image of a child waiting for a story. 

Joe feels a little weird, but he also feels relieved that they’re not making fun of him. He’s been made fun of for dance before, and it’s always sucked. But Geoff, Otto, and Travis all look intrigued. Awsten… is looking at Joe’s bag with a small frown.

“Yeah, I do stuff like that,” Joe says. “Uh. I could find a video of a routine to show you if you want.”

Geoff, Otto, and Travis all look psyched at that. Joe pulls up a short video, one of his more recent ones, taken by Nick. The guys all ooh and ahh over it, and even Selena and Demi watch it with rapt attention. Awsten doesn’t, and Joe starts to panic inwardly. 

Otto turns around and punches at Awsten’s leg. “Hey, come on, dude. Watch it with us.”

“No thanks,” Awsten says. He stuffs his hands into his hoodie pocket. “Nothing against what you do. Dance is great. But ballet is kind of… elitist.”

And he skates away, leaves Joe feeling like he’s been struck by a car.

“Jesus,” Travis mutters. “Sorry man, I don’t know why he’s being like that. Your dancing is really cool.”

“Yeah, thanks for showing us!” Geoff says. “Awsten’s probably got something on his mind.”

“His job, maybe.” Travis suggests. 

The three of them start talking over each other as they get back on their skateboards. They pause long enough to say bye to Joe, Demi, and Selena, and then they’re off, following after Awsten.

“What is that jerk’s deal,” mutters Demi.

“He doesn’t matter,” Selena says. “Joe, you’re awesome. You know that. Demi is more awesome than you though.”

“Aww Selena, you’re cooler,” Demi says. 

Joe watches Awsten until he turns a corner and he can’t see him anymore. He already knows that he won’t be able to just forget about that interaction. It’s a shame. Joe thought Awsten’s skateboarding was… graceful. Almost like a dance. It would have been nice to hear what he thought about Joe’s dancing.

Oh well. Joe probably won’t see much of him again after this.

……...

Or not. 

Joe is the last one to walk out of his last class of the day and he nearly runs headfirst into Awsten. The skater is standing right outside the door, skateboard under one arm, and a terrifyingly serious expression on his face. Joe jumps backwards, and his normally great balance fails him. 

Awsten quickly reaches out to keep him from falling.

“Sorry,” he says. “I, uh. Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Joe says. He takes a step backwards, putting some distance between them. “Uh. What’s up?”

Awsten bites at his lip. “I’m sorry. I was rude to you the other day. I just… can’t stand ballet. It’s got nothing to do with you. I think… it’s cool. You’re probably dedicated to it, right? That’s great. Have fun.”

Joe crosses his arms. He’s had time to think about this. Awsten might be physically cute, but his personality leaves a bit to be desired. Only an asshole insults a person when they’re supposedly making an apology.

“Hey, if this is supposed to be you apologizing for hurting my feelings, you suck at it,” he says. “I don’t care about your opinion. You’re not the first dudebro who thinks ballet is a girly thing. I literally couldn’t care less.”

“I never said that,” Awsten says huffily. “I said it’s elitist. All the ballet dancers I’ve known act all high and mighty. You’re probably—” 

“So you’re the expert on ballet dancers now?” Joe says. “How many ballet dancers have you known?”

Awsten scowls. “I don’t even know why I bothered.” He spins around to storm off, stops, and turns around again. “Look. Okay. Fuck. I’m overreacting. I, uh. It’s impressive. Dance. Ballet. It’s cool. Fancy.”

“You don’t have to force yourself to compliment something you obviously hate,” Joe says.

Awsten tugs at his hair with his free hand. “Fuck, fuck, fuck. Okay. I mean it, alright? I’m sorry. I was a dick, and I’m still being a dick right now, and I wanted to say… I was wrong. I’d like a chance to still talk to you, okay? Cause Kyle told me he and your brother have been hanging out—”

“What?” Joe says. That weird quiet dude and Nick? That… he can actually sort of see it. Why didn’t Nick say anything? 

“—and he’d kick my ass if I made things weird. And he actually can kick my ass cause he does some freaky street MMA and I’ve seen him come back home with blood on his knuckles. Anyway. I do think you’re… probably a cool guy. So I’m sorry. If you don’t want anything to do with me, that’s fine. I get it. Just please tell your brother to tell my brother something about it.”

Joe’s head is whirling with the information. He’s not sure what’s the most important. Blood? What the hell. Awsten looks nervous, and Joe’s traitorous brain supplies an immediate evaluation of it: Cute Boy Alert. Awsten would look even cuter if Joe made him flustered.

Damn it.

“Yeah, I’ll tell him,” Joe says. “And… sure. I guess. We can hang out. Just… we can just, uh. Not talk about dance, if that’s gonna make you more comfortable.”

Awsten’s lips twist. “You can still talk about it. It’s important to you, right? I’ll just get over it. It’s— it’s nothing. Yeah. Okay, cool. I gotta get to work in a bit, but I’ll see you tomorrow? At lunch?” 

“Okay,” Joe says. 

Awsten smiles, looking relieved. Joe’s heart jumps again. Damn it again.

……...

Lunches are infinitely more enjoyable with a large group to share them with. Before the Riverside School of Dance transition, Joe would either eat with Nick or he’d eat alone. (A month before, he would have lunch with the cheer squad every day… until Tanya decided she had beef with Joe cause he turned her down and the whole cheer squad took Tanya’s side. Kudos to them for sticking together, but it still resulted in Joe being lonely. He’s not really good at making friends.)

Awsten, Otto, Geoff, and Travis are cool. Every day, the skaters will eat their lunches at record speed and then spend the rest of the period teaching Travis how to do a kickflip or other tricks. He’s apparently new to skating, and his balance isn’t the best. Joe has also learned that Kyle doesn’t skate, but he does have a bicycle that he rides to his part time job. Kyle hasn’t said anything about his part time job, so Joe assumes Awsten was telling the truth about MMA. When Joe asked Nick about the Knight twins one evening, he learned absolutely nothing.

Selena and Demi have both warmed up to the skaters. Awsten hasn’t said anything like he did during their first encounter, so things have been smooth. Pleasant. He does still go quiet whenever Demi or Joe talk about dance, but he doesn’t criticize it. 

“Oh yeah, I’ve seen that skate park on the way to the dance school we go to,” Demi says one day. “You guys go there?”

Otto laughs. “Awsten practically lives there when he’s not at that repair shop where he works.”

“So do you,” Awsten says, elbowing Otto. “That’s where I first met you, idiot.”

“I’ve never gone to a skate park before,” Joe says. “Is it just like… a bunch of concrete hills and stuff?” He’s a little ashamed to admit that he knows next to nothing about skateboarding, aside from what he’s seen in passing and at lunch nowadays.

“Sort of,” Awsten says. “There’s a bowl, and some rails and ramps. They’re gonna build a half pipe really soon, and everyone’s going crazy over it. But yeah, you can go there with a bike or roller skates too.”

Joe laughs. “I’d probably break my ankles. But it’d be cool to watch.” It would be really cool to watch Awsten, he thinks. He’s somehow both powerful and elegant when he’s doing his tricks in the parking lot. It’s mesmerizing.

“Yeah, you gotta come see!” Otto says excitedly. “Sunday! It’ll be busy as heck, but we’ll get a turn eventually.”

“Awsten can do a ton of tricks,” Travis says. “You haven’t even seen half of it. Otto’s pretty good too.”

Awsten grins and throws an arm around Travis’s shoulders. Joe feels a pang of envy. “I’m gonna teach them all to you eventually,” Awsten says with that really cute smile of his. “If any of you guys wanna learn, it’s not bad.” He adds, nodding at Joe, Demi, and Selena. 

“Maybe,” Demi says. 

“I’ll come watch on Sunday,” Joe says. 

Kyle adds their numbers to a group chat while Otto and Geoff have a brief competition where they try to do more nollies in a minute, with Awsten as judge. Joe misses Kyle asking for his number three times while he stares at Awsten. He jumps to attention when Nick, sitting on the bench beside Kyle, speaks up and provides his number for him.

“What?” Joe says. 

Kyle is looking at him closely. Then he shakes his head and looks away. Joe remembers the MMA thing and his heart rate picks up.

“We’ll text the group chat whenever we’re gonna hang out,” Travis says. “Otto and Kyle are awful about replying, but you’ll at least get a quick response from Awsten, even if he’s at work. Unless his phone dies, which it does a lot.”

Joe’s phone buzzes with a notification from the group chat. It’s from Awsten, a meme involving instant ramen. Joe grins and replies with a keysmash.

………

And life goes on. 

Joe would like to complain about how he’s not making any progress with flirting with Awsten, but the idea of flirting with Awsten is scary. He doesn’t have anyone to really complain about that specific topic anyway, because Nick is friends with Kyle, Kevin is absolutely out of the question, and he’s not sure if he’s close enough friends with Demi or Selena to come to them about boy troubles. Or at least, troubles with talking to cute boys. 

Anyway, his tentatively growing friendship with Awsten and the other skaters is nice. Joe likes it, he likes being able to talk about dance. He likes school lunches and the group chat and sharing homework answers (Awsten is extremely willing to help with studying if coffee bribes are involved. Fuck yes.) 

Joe even likes hanging out at the skate park and watching the skaters and learning more about skating. A few times, Otto and Travis talk Joe into doing some of his “sick ballet moves,” and it draws a few spectators. Demi’s modern dance routines are more suited to the outdoor environment, so she does her own “sick dance moves”, usually after dance classes are over in the evenings. 

But as nice as it all is, there’s still a part of Joe that is drawn to Awsten. A part that keeps hoping for more. He’s cute, and he’s actually really nice. He’s somehow always in the group chat, and he has a lot of surprisingly good advice for a ton of different situations. He knows about how to use ladders, how to cook, how to get paint out of jeans, and even how to fix car tire pressure. 

Joe appreciates not having to ask his dad and feel like an idiot for not knowing how to do stuff like that. 

Awsten basically saves his life one afternoon when the dashboard in Joe’s car won’t stop beeping at him. Awsten— who thankfully hasn’t left for his part time job yet— squints at the display. Joe is already panicking a little because he thinks he’s broken his car, and now he’s panicking even more because Awsten’s face is inches away from him. He could just turn a little, lean in closer, and— 

“Oh, it’s your pressure indicator,” Awsten says. 

“It’s what?” Joe says.

Awsten takes his head out of the open window. “The pressure is probably just low, unless you drove over something like a nail recently. Do you have an air pump?”

“Uh…” Joe says.

Awsten laughs at him. “Okay, okay. Calm down. You sit there and I’ll check which one it is.”

Joe turns off his engine and gets out of his car to follow Awsten around the car. Awsten stops at one of the rear tires, and kneels down on the ground to examine it. 

“Is it flat?” Joe says, panic rising again. The tire doesn’t look like those ruined tires in the movies, but Joe doesn’t know anything about cars. Maybe he’s been destroying his car the entire time he’s had it. “Do you think I have a spare?” 

“You should have a spare,” Awsten says, sounding amused. “But I don’t think we’ll need it. It just looks like the pressure is low. Give me a minute, I can get you a pump, we’ll fill it up, and you’ll be fine.”

Joe straightens up as Awsten gets to his feet. “Do you have a pump?”

“No, but Steve works as a janitor at the elementary school across the road, and I can get his keys to his truck, where he has a pump. You should get a tire pump when you can though. Also jumper cables if you don’t have those already. You never know when something like this is gonna happen, and it’s a pain having to get it towed somewhere for an easy fix.”

Awsten runs off across the street and Joe tries to distract himself with the group chat. He looks at his tires, walking all around his car to try and absorb the information. He doesn’t know anything about this. His parents got him the car for doing well in both school and dance last summer, and they’ve always been the ones to take it for whatever maintenance things it needs.

In the group chat, Geoff tells Joe that he’s lucky that Awsten works at an auto repair shop and he knows about stuff like this. Joe agrees wholeheartedly.

And when Awsten comes back and starts doing— whatever— with the pump and the tires, it’s really… attractive. Not so much what Awsten is doing, just the fact that he knows what he’s doing. He’s reliable, and friendly, and smart. And really cute.

He’s kind of perfect.

Joe just wishes he could talk about ballet with Awsten without him going quiet and distant.

………. 

For Awsten, the world shatters in the middle of a downpour. 

Brant, his shift manager, had sent him home early in the hopes that he would make it home before the rain got bad. He was only five minutes out when the rain got so heavy that he could barely see ten feet in front of him. He was beyond drenched and not particularly in the mood for being splashed by anymore fast-driving cars, so he made his way to the park to wait it out.

Under a leaking pavilion, Awsten wrings his shirt and hoodie out as best as he can. There’s not much hope for his jeans— with his luck, he’ll have a cold tomorrow morning. Perfect. They’re out of medicine for that. It’s a shame about his shoes too. He was hoping these ones would last another couple of months. Maybe he can steal one of Kyle’s pairs tomorrow while these ones are stuffed full of newspaper. 

He kicks off the shoes for now and sits down on the ground. The rain still hasn’t let up at all. And his phone is dead, so he has no clue how long it’ll be like this.

He drapes his wet hoodie back over his shoulders for a few minutes, looking out at the park. It’s weird seeing it empty like this. There’s always someone here, whether it’s a skater, an early morning dog-walker, or a midnight weed dealer. Awsten shivers as a breeze passes through the park, chilling him to the bone in his wet clothes. 

When his body starts to shake, he realizes he should be moving. He stands up and considers jogging in place, but then a tiny idea surfaces in his head. That tiny little idea that sprung up around the time he saw Joe Jonas’s fancy dance bag. 

Awsten looks all around him again. It’s still empty. Nothing but the gray world outside the pavilion, shrouded in heavy rain. It feels like a different place. He could get away with anything right now.

He stands up and assumes a position he hasn’t done in years. It’s weird how his body remembers it. Slowly, as if someone might come and scold him for his imperfect posture, he moves through the pas de bourree. Nothing happens, although his heart is pounding. Awsten does it again, fixing his posture this time. Plie, back, side, front.

He repeats it, his thoughts drifting back to years of practice both at the studio and at home. Repeating all the basics every day, again and again, no matter how often the teachers acknowledged that he was doing well. Bruises, scrapes, broken toes, the frustration of watching all the kids who weren’t on scholarship advance before him because of the donations their parents made. 

The day his scholarship ran out and Awsten learned what fake friends were. 

Awsten’s face burns at the memory. He pushes it back out of his mind and recalls the steps to the routines that were hammered into his brain. Again and again. He fixes his posture and claims the whole space under the pavilion. He can feel where his body tries to limit his movements— idiot, he didn’t stretch before this— but he doesn’t worry about it. Nobody can see his shortcomings here. For now, he’s not a poor loser who couldn’t dance because he couldn’t afford it anymore. He’s the only dancer that exists in this gray, rainy world and he’s beautiful. 

He closes his eyes for a moment, letting the sound of the rain surround his thoughts. Awsten breathes in and out and starts the most complicated adagio piece he remembers. He practiced this so many times that it only takes the first positioning of his feet to bring the muscle memory back. Again, his body protests as he moves. His wet clothes are heavy. It doesn’t matter. He dances anyway.

Everything else fades away. 

And then the dream ends with a single word.

“Awsten?”

From a voice that Awsten does not want to hear. No. No. Not here. Not now, when he’s allowing himself to be vulnerable and— no.

He’s stopped moving in sheer horror. Joe Jonas is hovering at the edge of the pavilion, under and umbrella. He’s holding his phone against his ear and his eyes are wide as he stares at Awsten.

Fuck.

Awsten grabs his skateboard and hoodie off the ground, turns, and sprints in the opposite direction. Fuck, fuck, fuck, he’s going to have to leave the fucking country. Unfortunately, he can still hear Joe’s voice through the noise of the rain. 

“Awsten, wait! I— no, yeah, he’s at the skate park, I promise I’ll drive him back, Steve— Awsten, stop! Please! Steve asked me to help find you!”

Awsten stops just in front of the half pipe. He’s drenched from the rain again, but his whole body feels hot with humiliation. What an idiot. Of course he can’t just— the one time he thinks it’s fine to pretend he’s a dancer again, the universe dumps Joe Jonas in front of him. 

“Awsten, come on, Steve asked me to drive you back,” Joe says, somewhere behind him. “I just—”

Awsten whirls around. “You didn’t see anything,” he says, furious at himself and also furious at Joe for ruining his— whatever. 

He can’t make out Joe’s expression. The two of them stand there in the rain for an uncomfortably long silence, until Joe breaks it. “How do you hate ballet so much if you still— you used to dance. You definitely used to— that was advanced stuff.”

Awsten is so fucking glad it’s raining. He doesn’t have to show Joe just how fucking crushed his whole soul is right now. As long as Joe stays where he is, Awsten can cry and have his miserably breakdown and hopefully Steve will come and pick him up instead. 

That’s a good idea. Awsten just needs to argue with Joe long enough to—

“Here,” Joe says, coming closer and pushing his umbrella into Awsten’s hand. “I’ve got a rain jacket. You can have that.”

“It’s not going to do much now,” Awsten says, but he takes it anyway. He takes a few steps away from Joe. He realizes that he left his shoes back at the pavilion. Can his life get any worse?

Joe crosses his arms. “You said you didn’t like ballet,” he accuses.

Awsten snorts. “I said ballet was elitist. And it is, I’m not wrong about that. Think about the whole— Whatever, I don’t fucking care anymore. I hate ballet. That’s the only important thing here.”

“So why are you dancing by yourself in the rain, where no one can see you?” Joe says. “You still like it, don’t you? You don’t actually hate it.”

“I do hate it,” Awsten says. “And I don’t have to explain myself to you.”

Fuck this. Awsten is just going to walk back. He sets off. Joe follows, much to his annoyance. 

“Wait, I’ve got my car and some towels—”

“Great,” Awsten says. “Drive yourself home. You’re going to catch a cold. That’d be bad.”

“Come on, Awsten. Steve asked me to help.”

“I don’t need help getting home. I’m a big boy, I can take care of myself.”

“I promise I won’t ask you about ballet, just— just let me drive you back. I’m worried about you.”

Awsten hesitates. He glances back at Joe. Joe’s rain jacket is dripping with water and he looks like an annoying wet cat. But he’s an annoying wet cat with a car. Awsten sighs. 

“Fine,” he says. “Let me get my shoes.”

They get back to Joe’s car miraculously without any further conversation. After that, the miracle continues, as Awsten sits like a wet cat in Joe’s front passenger seat all the way back to his apartment. Joe doesn’t say anything, but he cranks the heat up so much that it nearly fogs up all the windows. Awsten feels like a hot raisin.

Steve is waiting for Awsten outside the apartment. He thanks Joe repeatedly as he scoops Awsten out of the car and against his chest. 

“I’ll see you later Awsten,” Joe finally says as Steve hurries Awsten to the door. “Take care.”

“Thanks,” Awsten mutters. He doubts Joe can hear it over the rain. He weighs his chances of dying of combined humiliation and hypothermia. Unlikely, since Steve is talking to himself about body heat and how Awsten’s lucky he didn’t drown out there.

“You’re freezing,” Steve says as he hauls Awsten through the door of their apartment. “Why were you at the skate park?”

“I don’t know,” Awsten says, his voice muffled by the soft borrowed towel. Fuck. He’s gonna have to live long enough to give this back to Joe. Kyle’s too much of a dickhead to do it for him, even if he died of humiliation-hypothermia. Fuck.

……….

Joe can’t stop thinking about what he saw at the skate park. 

He’s known Awsten for almost three months now and he’s always thought he’s cute, but seeing him dance like that… it’s opened his eyes (and mind) to something entirely new. Now, whenever he thinks about Awsten’s skating, he compares it with his dancing. He can picture it, Awsten’s core strength, his unshakable balance, his absolute control. He skates with a dancer’s grace. It’s so beautiful and Joe wants to appreciate it more. He wants to connect with Awsten over it.

But.

Awsten clearly doesn’t want to. The group chat carries on like normal. School lunches carry on like normal. Awsten does the coolest skate tricks when they go to the park, a few days after the rain. 

Joe is afraid to bring it up because of how Awsten reacted. But he can’t keep it to himself.

He sits next to Demi on the floor of a hallway at Riverside School of Dance one afternoon, about a week after the incident. Demi is organizing a dinner “not a date” with Selena for after practice. Joe is staring at a picture on his phone: Awsten upside down in midair, the day the half pipe was finally finished. 

“Demi,” he says. “You know how… sometimes… you get embarrassed about dance?”

Demi is quiet for a moment. “Is someone being mean at school?”

Joe puts his phone away quickly. “No. Not like. No. I mean. In middle school, sort of. Not anymore. Nobody really cares. But you know what I mean? Like, you want to hide it sometimes? Or even quit?”

Demi frowns. “Maybe… Not anymore, obviously. But I’ve had people telling me I don’t have the right body for dancing. People making fun of my appearance. But it’s something I love. I’d never want to quit it. And I… hm. I don’t think I would have hidden the fact that I dance. Maybe just avoid the people who make me feel bad about it. Joe, are you sure everything’s alright?”

Joe sighs. “Yeah. I’m just thinking. About, like, the reasons people quit dance. Even if they love it.”

Demi shrugs. “It’s different for everyone. Choosing to quit a sport or a hobby is a personal thing, I guess.”

Joe thinks about it all day, coming up with various possibilities for why Awsten quit dancing. He ends up with too many questions and an impromptu meeting with Madame Angie afterwards, asking why he’s so distracted today. 

“Sorry,” he says. “I’m just— trying to think of how to help a friend.”

“Talking to them always helps,” Angie says. 

“He doesn’t want to talk about it with me,” Joe says.

“Is it a big problem?” Angie says. “Maybe he feels overwhelmed.”

“It’s like… self esteem problems I guess,” Joe says. “I just want him to feel better about… something about himself. It’s something I think you should be proud of, but I think he’s afraid of it. I’m not sure.”

A smile slowly grows on Angie’s face. “I see. He’s lucky to have a supportive friend like you, Joe. I’d say be patient, and let him come to terms with it on his own. But let him know in your own way that you love him.”

Joe’s face heats up. Maybe Angie didn’t mean for it to come out that way, but it sure sounded like somehow she knows he’s got a crush on Awsten. “As a friend,” he says.

Angie nods. “Of course. Good luck with your friend, Joe. And good job on your arabesque lift, even though your mind was clearly somewhere else.”

“I’m sorry,” Joe says again. 

Angie just laughs and sends him off. As Joe is walking to his car, he tries and fails to compose a supportive friendly text to Awsten. It either comes off as too distant or too Obviously I Think You’re Really Cute. Joe compromises by sending him a meme, to which Awsten responds with a keysmash. 

……….

Several days later, Joe is walking out of class and his heart jumps in his chest at the figure loitering on the sidewalk outside the dance academy. It’s not Awsten— with a second look, Joe sees the darker clothes, the longer hair and the bicycle leaning against Kyle’s side. 

Kyle lifts a hand. “Hey,” he says.

Joe walks up to him. He’s surprised to see Kyle. The two of them don’t exactly hang out when they’re not at school. Kyle only shows up at the park occasionally, and he talks more to Nick than anyone else, including his own twin. 

Also, he’s sort of been hoping that maybe Awsten will one day capitulate to his well-intentioned memes and come talk to Joe about ballet. Or (in the more unreasonable fantasies), confess that he also thinks Joe is really attractive and that they should go on a date.

“Hey,” Joe says. “Um. What’s up—”

“Joe. Awsten’s a fucking idiot,” Kyle says bluntly. 

Joe’s mouth might or might not drop open in surprise. That’s not what he was expecting. Then again, he’s still sort of expecting Kyle to drop some terrifying MMA death moves on him one day over some slight. Kyle is one of those quiet people who genuinely terrifies people like Joe, and Nick’s refusal to talk about him doesn’t exactly improve his image.

Kyle chews on his lip and looks away for a second. “He’s uh… he’s got his issues, okay? I want you to know that. He didn’t talk about that day with the rain, and since you and him got all awkward, I think you might have found out something he didn’t want you to.”

“No, I didn’t.” Joe says immediately.

Kyle raises a single eyebrow. “Yeah, that confirms it. Okay, because I appreciate the fact that you kept him from getting hypothermia, I’m gonna tell you this: he likes you. He’s just emotionally constipated about some things.”

Joe nods slowly, not really understanding what Kyle is saying. “He likes me?” That doesn’t seem likely.

Kyle huffs. “Can we talk somewhere? I promise, I’m not gonna waste your time for long.” 

“You’re not wasting my time,” Joe says. “Practice is over.” Homework isn’t important, and the possibility of hearing more about Awsten is more intriguing than bribing Nick to do his math homework. Also, he’s afraid that if he says no to Kyle, he’ll end up with a knife in his back someday when he’s not expecting it. “I could drive you somewhere if you want?”

Kyle makes a face and gestures at the bike he’s holding. Joe’s never really looked at it properly before. There’s a ton of scrapes along the left side, as if it got dragged along the asphalt. One of the handlebar covers is gone, replaced by a ton of duct tape. It’s also covered with a bunch of faded stickers. 

“Uh, we can also walk to the ice cream shop at the end of the block?” Joe offers. “I’ll get you whatever you want.”

“Thanks,” Kyle says. 

Kyle is not terribly vocal as they walk to the ice cream shop and Joe gets him a strawberry milkshake. The two of them sit in a slightly uncomfortable silence for about ten minutes until Kyle finally speaks up again. 

“Okay,” Kyle says. “Don’t tell Awsten I told you this. But I figured it’d be good for you to know. Awsten… he used to do ballet like you. But you already figured that out, didn’t you?” 

Joe takes in a sharp breath but doesn’t interrupt. He gives Kyle a short nod. 

Kyle’s fingers pull apart the paper straw wrapper, tilting his face down at the table. “Back when we were kids, there was this community center that did sports and stuff to keep kids out of trouble. I just did whatever was interesting and free— taekwondo and kickboxing— but Awsten got really into the dance stuff. He was really fucking good, and he’d practice all the time. The coach recommended him for this scholarship at an actual studio, and he worked his ass off for almost five years to keep it. But then the funding for the scholarship was cut and— we could have never afforded that shit. It’s fucking expensive. We could barely afford to pay for the costumes and stuff. It sucked, but he had to drop out. I know he misses it, no matter how much he told us it was fine. So… yeah. He likes dance, but it’s a sore topic for him.”

Joe bites his lip. He’s never even thought about the cost of tuition. It’s always been something his parents took care of. He doesn’t know what to say to Kyle. 

“I’m sorry,” he says, and it doesn’t feel like enough. 

Kyle shrugs. “You didn’t know. And hey, it’s not like you’re the one charging all that for dance lessons.” He scoops all the shreds of paper into a little pile and then finally makes eye contact with Joe. “I think… he does think you’re… I don’t know. He talks about you all the time. Even more than Otto and Geoff and Travis, and he’s known them for years. He loves skateboarding now, but I think he always missed dance, and it’d be cool if you could… I don’t know… get him back into it? For fun.”

Joe swallows. “He doesn’t want to talk about dance with me. I tried.”

Kyle lets out a short laugh. “Yeah, well, like I said, he’s an idiot. But he’s my brother and I love him and I want him to stop moping around when he’s home. Just keep at it. Maybe try some different approach. He likes talking with you and hanging out with you, I can tell you that for sure.” He stands up, picking up the remainder of his milkshake and mounting his bike. “Alright, I’m not sharing any more of my brother’s secrets. You didn’t hear fucking anything from me, okay?”

“I didn’t. I promise,” Joe says.

Kyle nods. “Be nice to him. He’s awesome, even if he seems like a moron most of the time.” And with that, he takes off on his bike, only holding the handlebars with one hand while he holds his milkshake up with the other.

……….

Patience pays off in the end, even though it drives Joe nuts. He goes with Angie’s advice and he’s nice to Awsten, brings him little snacks at lunch and comes to all the hangouts he can make. The weirdness fades, normalcy returns, and Awsten texts Joe to come to the skate park early in the morning before school one day.

There’s a few skaters and other people at the park, but it’s mostly empty. There’s a faint haze of fog everywhere. It feels quieter and more intimate.

He and Awsten are standing under the pavilion— the one that Joe saw Awsten dancing under. Awsten is rolling his skateboard back and forth absentmindedly.

“I never meant to make you feel bad about anything,” Awsten says. “I’m just… I just had to give up dancing and I was bitter about it for a long time. I still am bitter about it.”

“Would you want to start it again?” Joe asks.

Awsten looks pained. “I don’t… I don’t think so. I think it’s better as a memory now.”

“You’re still good at it,” Joe points out. “What I saw, it was good. And don’t you like… work that stuff into skating?”

Awsten’s mouth quirks into a faint smile. “Yeah. I guess you would notice that. Skating was the one thing that I tried, after I had to quit, that made me feel similar to dancing. I mean it, when I said you should try it out. I’ll help.”

Joe wishes he could reach out and hold Awsten’s hand. “Yeah. I think I’d like to try.”

Awsten brightens up almost immediately. “Really? You mean it? I mean— fuck, I should do something for you— you do performances, right? I wanna see them. I’ll dress up fancy and make Kyle come along too— and Otto and Geoff and Travis.”

Joe’s brain spins. “You don’t have to—”

“I want to,” Awsten says. “I… I’ve been wanting to see you dance. I like what you show us sometimes, I was just— just afraid of getting hurt again, I guess. I’m sorry, I don’t— I don’t need to unload all this on you.”

“I get it,” Joe says. “But. You need someone to talk to, right? It’s okay. I just want you to know, it’s okay to like dancing. You’re really good at it. You should be proud of that.”

Awsten fidgets. “Yeah. I know, I’m just… I’ll work on that.”

“Awsten?”

“Yeah?”

Joe swallows, hoping. Hoping. “If you want to teach me how to skate,” he says carefully. “Then can I dance with you? We can figure something out together. You and me. You don’t even have to show anyone, I promise. I just want to see you dancing.”

Awsten is quiet for a moment. Joe is so nervous. If Awsten says no, he’s not sure what he’s going to do. Change his name and leave town maybe. No, they can work through things if he’s accidentally gone too far. At least he didn’t confess his feelings. Yet. 

“Sure,” Awsten says, his voice surprisingly soft and shy. “Yeah. We’ll uh… we’ll figure it out.”

Oh yes. Oh hell yes. 

Joe jumps and grabs Awsten and pulls him into a tight hug, shouting out in excitement and bouncing around. He realizes a moment later that he might be overwhelming Awsten, and he reluctantly lets him go. Thankfully, Awsten has a smile on his face. Okay, good. They’re good.

“Wow. Okay,” he says. “That’s a nicer look than the one you came here with.”

“I’ve been worried you hate me,” Joe says.

“I don’t hate you,” Awsten says. “You’re cool. I like you, Joe.”

Joe’s heart flips. He’ll definitely be remixing that into a mutual confession later when he’s going crazy at home.

……….

It’s not until summer that Awsten and Joe finally start dating. Officially, anyway. To Joe’s slight disappointment, there isn’t a great big, dramatic confession. Travis comments one day, as they’re eating pizza, that it’s Joe and Awsten’s six month anniversary and that they should be doing something more exciting than pizza. There’s an awkward fumble in the wake of that, where Joe is beyond relieved to find out that Awsten’s been harboring feelings for him too. Awsten is equally happy to find out about Joe’s feelings, and they kiss awkwardly for the first time at the skate park. 

The kissing gets better, of course. So do the dates. 

Although, Joe likes to call their hangouts at the skate park dates while Awsten insists it’s not a date if the others are tagging along. Selena points out they could be quadruple dates, since she and Demi are sort of dating now, Kyle and Nick are partners in mysterious crime (or something), and Otto, Geoff and Travis could be like a platonic polycule. 

“I refuse to accept that as a date,” Awsten says.

“You’re cuddling with Joe right now,” Selena says. “This is at least half a date.”

Joe is sitting on the ground with his back against Awsten’s chest. Summer is hot and both he and Awsten are sweating, but they’re getting frozen lemonade later and he doesn’t want to move. He feels happy. He’s gone though a lot of teenage angst to get to this point.

Awsten’s arms don’t move from where they’re wrapped loosely around Joe’s chest. “It’s not a date.”

“Can we go on a date tonight?” Joe says, tilting his head so he’s looking at him upside down.

Awsten fumbles for a second. “Uh. I’m getting paid at the end of the week and I was planning on doing something cool with that money. But if you want to do something, then yeah. We can do something. What do you want to do?”

“You two are so cute it’s disgusting,” Nick says. He stands up and walks away, followed by Kyle. Otto and Geoff laugh at them as they leave, and Joe has to giggle a bit too. 

“Can we dance together?” Joe whispers to Awsten.

Awsten lowers his face to hide it from Joe. “Sure,” he mutters into Joe’s hair. “You wanna skate now? Or you just wanna sit here?”

“I want to skate,” Joe says. He gets up and a pleasant breeze blows through the park, cooling his back where he’d been sweating. Awsten gets up too, and sets up his board for Joe to get on. 

They stay out of the way of the more serious skaters, since Joe’s not very good yet. He can keep his balance, and he’s working on the tricks. Recently he’s been getting better at powersliding. He skates toward a short stretch of rail low to the ground and is about to jump up onto it when a kid on roller skates suddenly zooms in front of him. 

Joe jolts, and his skateboard slips out from under him. He starts falling, but before he can properly react— before he can even panic— he feels himself being lifted up. Up. Off his feet. 

Into the air. 

Someone yells “Board!”

Travis. 

Joe blinks. 

Awsten is holding him up. No, he’s spinning him around, like Joe weighs nothing at all. Like a dancer holds up another dancer. Joe is placed back on the ground and he stands there for a moment, taking in what happened. 

“You okay?” Awsten says, coming into his field of vision.

“That was so hot,” Joe blurts out. 

Awsten blinks and his mouth drops open. “What?”

Joe feels embarrassment try to take over again but no. No. He liked that. He wants to do it again. He moves closer and grabs Awsten’s hands. “Can we do that again? You lifting me up? Maybe without the falling off the skateboard thing?”

Awsten covers his face with his hands, but he says, “Yeah. I’ve— I’ve been wanting to do that for a while, actually.”

Joe thinks this might be what love feels like.


End file.
